8/15/09

Old News is Good News

Listening to: Papa mowing the lawn


So I am helping my mother clean out the old "school" room so that we can turn it into a guest room by the time I head back to Caz. While I was organizing the book shelves I came across an old issue of Time magazine. The front cover said: "Only 648 days until the election!" it had Hillary, McCain, Obama-sama, Rudy, Edwards, Romney, Biden, and Brownback on the cover. Suddenly, I became very interested in what was important on February 5, 2007...so, I decided to skim through the magazine.

William Shatner answers 10 Questions
One of the questions was: "LOST producer J.J. Abrams is working on a Star Trek movie for 2008 about a young Kirk and Spock, and there are rumors you will make an appearance." Shatner says that he talked to Abrams but that nothing was set in stone. Now I wish I had seen the movie!

Bush is in NOTEBOOK section
The Bush Administration talks about how they really are promoting Americans to go GREEN. They have asked for more solar panels, windmills and ethanol in the country. Too bad it didn't quite follow through...greedy bastards.

Time covers "Confusing Signs"
1. The ancient Hindu symbol for peace and the Nazi swastika
2. The "V" peace sign (palm turned outward and palm turned... inward :P)
3. The Confederate Flag (Prideful or racist?)
4. The Peace Sign (anti-war and anti-Christian)

Time's Verbatim (quotes of the week)
"The biggest problem is razor burn." Stormy Daniels, an actress, writer and director of XXX films, about how the new high-definition format in porno DVDs accentuates imperfections in the actors. This one just about killed me!

Miss America, 2007
Because MA2007 forgot to renew their contact with their original network they are forced to sign with CMT (Country Music Television). Hahahaha!

Spanking Bill
Cali assemblywoman tries to pass a bill that bans the spanking of children under 4 years of age. I wonder if it passed...

Milestones
Denny Doherty, lead singer of the Mamas and the Papas, dies. Awwww ;_;

Time Magazine's NATION (political news)
8 Keys to the Campaign: Iraq, money, religion, write a best seller, beware the primary, recruit the new political consultants, win over the online activists and get to know the other contestants. Whew!

Time Magazine's SOCIETY (social news)
The nation's toughest prisons may be driving inmates mad - and in the process, making us less safe. DUN DA DUNNNNN!

Time Magazine's BEHAVIOR (umm, you know, behavior news)
WTF!!!??? SHEEP ARE GAY???? That's what this article claims. Most rams will have sex with other rams and leave the ladies shaking their heads in the barn corner. It got to be so bad on a few farms that this one scientist came up with a drug that apparently turned the gay rams straight. Time makes it very clear though that this drug does not work on humans...not yet. Honestly, I hope scientists have better things to do.

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